It’s almost Valentine’s Day, so Ann, Christy, Meredith, and Mike are honoring romance with asbestos-filled teddy bears, overpriced dinners, low-quality jewelry, and a mylar heart on a stick. We wonder, what’s the point of having a day to affirm and celebrate your relationship if nobody can quite figure out what’s supposed to happen? Mike shares a story from his life where the lesson he learned was “just don’t try.” Then, we try our hands at the self-publishing industry with our pitches for the Great American Romance Novel. From the societal expectations of the Regency, to Puritan danger, to a historical(?) 90’s setting, to a modern, border-straddling “multi-cultural” Canadian affair, to whatever the thing that Mike came up with is, we’re re-defining literature and bringing a tingle to romance lovers everywhere. Sorry for the weird tangent about butt butter.